Posts tagged misogyny
Posts tagged misogyny
I saw the term “fuckzone” a whole back that feels more accurate to me… But either way, both can be useful.
Myth: Women disproproportionally get custody of children. Fathers who want to raise their children are being discriminated against! The justice system hates fathers!
Truth: 50% of men who seek custody get it. *
What does this tell us?
- When a person of color says that they hate white people, they hate white people as an institution (aka white supremacy/hegemony)
- When a woman says that they hate men, they hate men as an institution (aka male dominance/patriarchy)
- When a queer person says that they hate…
Whitney Ad from NBC, around 30th and 6th Ave
I like the concept behind this Tumblr, but I think actually writing, “not cool” on the actual ads themselves would be more powerful. I mean, the only people who are going to see these pictures are the ones who happen to stumble across this blog, right?
more true than most people realize.
FUCK YOU COSMO.
First of all, this kind of assault is NOT a new thing being caused by changing gender roles and sexually liberated women. HOW did you guys come to that arbitrary conclusion? This has ALWAYS happened, but it used to be (and still is) looked at as typical and OK.
And “Grey Rape”?? This should NOT even be a term. This is rape. Anytime someone DOES NOT WANT IT it is rape. You don’t have to say no loudly, you don’t have to struggle, you can end up getting into it, and it is STILL RAPE. IT IS RAPE regardless of what you are wearing, or if you consented to some things but not EVERYTHING that was done to you. Just b/c you invited some guy to your room DOESN’T MEAN YOU CONSENTED TO SEX. Stop trivializing the experiences of thousands of survivors by calling them victims, and by downgrading their assaults to ‘gray areas’ that can be called into question.
And finally, tips at the end on how not to get raped, or rather, how to “Avoid the Grey Area”. Cos we wouldn’t want to teach guys how NOT to sexually assault someone in the first place, would we? UGH
Active consent, guys. It isn’t that hard.
In February we wrote a post called “5 Common Bad Habits to Stop Now” that was a gentle reminder to our followers that even the best of us slip up but that we should be careful of the words we say and our behavior towards others. Here are some more common bad habits that I myself find falling into that should probably be stopped:
1. Slut shaming. This kind of misogyny is still unfortunately quite acceptable in our society and wildly common. Even the most sexually liberated people I know have a point at which they consider a woman (it is mostly, but not always, directed toward woman) a “slut”, “whore”, or otherwise too sexual. For some this is after said woman has had sex with 5 partners (or 10, or 20), for others this is when a woman has engaged in something “kinky” like a threesome, when a woman has accidentally gotten pregnant, or when she dresses in a certain way (yup, even if she’s never had sex). Not only is this sex negative, because of the double standard it is often just plain woman negative. I could continue to talk about this, but FinallyFeminism101 already has a really good post about it that I’ll just link to.
2. Belittling, shaming, and criticizing trans* individuals whose identities, expression, or way of life isn’t like yours. Femme ftms, stealth guys, FAAB guys who don’t identify as transgender, and trans* people who have a non-traditional transgender narrative have all caught a lot of flak recently from other transguys on tumblr. Just because you can’t imagine being happily stealth or willingly wearing a dress while identifying as male doesn’t mean it isn’t right or good for other individuals. Stop identity policing!
3. Making assumptions about other people. Assumptions are all too often based on stereotypes and are often wrong and/or insulting. Instead of assuming how someone identifies, what someone means by something, or how someone feels, ask them!
4. Rape jokes and comments that take rape and sexual assault lightly. We’ve mentioned this before, but rape jokes are in incredibly bad taste. Most of the people who make comments like “I just really got raped by that test” or “I raped that paper” probably don’t mean to offend, but saying things like these makes light of rape and can be triggering/upsetting for people who have been sexually assaulted. Try to be sensitive to these issues.
5. Racism. I’m not talking about the explicit racism of our forebears that pretty much everyone recognizes as wrong, but that subtle, insidious racism that still pervades our society. That off-color joke you like to tell? It isn’t okay just because you “dated a black guy”, “like mexican food”, or “went to china and taught english”. Most white people (even the most well-meaning among us!) have some implicit racism to work through, and education is a pretty good start. The Good Men Project ran a good article recently about race that had some suggestions on where to start to educate yourself about race.
All of this.
“If Tegan And Sara Need Some Hard Dick, Hit Me Up,” Tweeted Tyler, the Creator.
Now: There are a few things I would like you to do with this Tweet. For one, I would like you to listen to it. No, really: Hold your ear up to the computer monitor. Turn the volume up as far as it can go. You got speakers? Plug those in, too. Really zone in. Squeeze your eyes shut. Click through to the original, and listen to that!
Now: Does this Tweet, as far as you can tell, make ANY MUSIC AT ALL? No? Phew! I thought I was alone, in not hearing music when I looked at this delightful Tweet from Tyler, the Creator!
And this means a few things. For example: That the “it’s all about the music” pose is a fucking lie. That all of the boys who are snickering at this, and/or applauding it (and oh, yes, there were plenty) are not enjoying the “music.” They’re enjoying the misogyny. They’re enjoying the suggestion that uppity women should have a dick shoved in them to shut them up. They’re enjoying the misogyny. Because this shit ain’t music. It’s a fucking Tweet. Tweets, it’s my understanding, are distinctively unmusical. And furthermore: That Tyler’s delightful “humor” is not the point. Because this shit ain’t delightful “humor.” It’s not unpredictable. It’s not innovative. It’s not, under any circumstances, edgy.
When will misogynistic and homophobic ranting and raving result in meaningful repercussions in the entertainment industry? When will they be treated with the same seriousness as racist and anti-Semitic offenses? While an artist who can barely get a sentence fragment out without using homophobic slurs is celebrated on the cover of every magazine, blog and newspaper, I’m disheartened that any self-respecting human being could stand in support with a message so vile.
As journalists and colleagues defend, excuse and congratulate ‘Tyler, the Creator,’ I find it impossible not to comment. In any other industry would I be expected to tolerate, overlook and find deeper meaning in this kid’s sickening rhetoric? Why should I care about this music or its “brilliance” when the message is so repulsive and irresponsible? There is much that upsets me in this world, and this certainly isn’t the first time I’ve drafted an open letter or complaint, but in the past I’ve found an opinion – some like-minded commentary – that let me rest assured that my outrage, my voice, had been accounted for. Not this time.
If any of the bands whose records are held in similar esteem as Goblin had lyrics littered with rape fantasies and slurs, would they be labeled hate mongers? I realize I could ask that question of DOZENS of other artists, but is Tyler exempt because people are afraid of the backlash? The inevitable claim that detractors are being racist, or the brush-off that not “getting it” would indicate that you’re “old” (or a faggot)? Because, the more I think about it, the more I think people don’t actually want to go up against this particular bully because he’s popular. Who sticks up for women and gay people now? It seems entirely uncool to do so in the indie rock world, and I’ll argue that point with ANYONE.
No genre is without its controversial and offensive characters- I’m not naive. I’ve asked myself a thousand times why this is pushing me over the edge. Maybe it’s the access to him (his grotesque twitter, etc). Maybe it’s because I’m a human being, both a girl and a lesbian. Maybe it’s because my mom has spent her whole adult life working with teenage girls who were victims of sexual assault. Maybe it’s because in this case I don’t think race or class actually has anything to do with his hateful message but has EVERYTHING to do with why everyone refuses to admonish him for that message.
It is not without great hesitation and hand wringing that I enter into the discourse about Tyler, the media who glorifies and excuses misogyny and homophobia, and the community of artists that doesn’t seem remotely bothered by it. I can only hope that someone reading this might be inspired to speak out. At the very least, I will know that my voice is on record.
This. Read this. I heard “Yonkers” by Tyler the Creator the other day and thought it was pretty sick (as in cool) but then I heard the rest of the album and thought it was pretty sick (as in completely fucked up). I honestly don’t know what to think. He’s causing a stir and apparently people love that shit, but why? I agree with everything Sara has said here. What the fuck, world?
i actually haven’t listened to Tyler the Creator. i heard all of this criticism and i read a few of his lyrics. they made me angry so i decided that i didn’t want to listen to his music because it would just be upsetting. however i think that everything Sara says can be applied to many musicians. its scary how much people can get away with in terms of homophobia and misogyny. it needs to stop.
From the “About” section of the website:
Widespread sexism in the media is one of the top problems facing women. A highly toxic media environment persists for women candidates, often negatively affecting their campaigns. The ever-changing media landscape creates an unmonitored echo chamber, often allowing damaging comments to exist without accountability.
We must erase the pervasiveness of sexism against all women candidates — irrespective of political party or level of office — across all media platforms in order to position women to achieve equality in public office. We will not stand by as pundits, radio hosts, bloggers, and journalists damage women’s political futures with misogynistic remarks. When you attack one woman, you attack all women.
The link leads to a pyramid, the “name it” section, divided into three sections with examples: Severe misogyny (derogatory language and sexual innuendo) Really Damn Sexist (blatant biased attacks ) and Just Plain Sexist (all too common loaded remarks that slip under the radar but do real harm)
I think the author of this points out the best argument for the birth control pill being available over-the-counter. Women are smart enough to know when they want to avoid pregnancy and making it more readily available with increase access for many women including those without health insurance and those who don’t want their parents knowing they are on the pill/having sex.
If I were running the world, everyone would have access to affordable birth control over-the-counter. However, I am not in charge of the world (unfortunately). Instead the healthcare system is controlled by white money-hungry men who don’t care about women. They actually use women’s health needs to make more money for themselves, while hurting women, children, people of color, LGBT folks, people of low income, and people who are not native to the US. They profit off of others’ marginalized statuses.
So while I personally believe birth control should be available over-the-counter or even fully covered under health insurance as a preventative medication, I think it is highly unlikely unless an actual socialist president is elected.
Top 5: Reasons to Keep Your Girlfriend Away from Lilith Fair
Ask Men managed to put together the most misogyinistic list of reasons why you should prevent your girlfriend from spending the day (most of them are only a day long event, not the weekend long event AskMen talks about) enjoying herself with like-minded women. I will save you all from having to read the list and summarize it myself.
5. She’ll discover new and terrible music to torture you with all summer.
Women are incapable of making good music (exception:Mary J. Blige), especially independent artists. There is a reason the radios won’t play more than two female artists in a row.
4. If her friend bails, she might try to take you.
Your girlfriend has no friends or only has friends who hate feminism, so she is going to drag you to something that she knows you don’t want to go to. You don’t want to go to this because you are a MAN and men hate anything that women produce.
3. She’s not a kid anymore.
Women don’t want their male partners to ever have any fun, so you should prevent your female partner from having any fun. This is a recipe for a healthy relationship.
2. There’s no need for a “women’s music festival” anymore.
Patriarchy is over! Let’s celebrate by going to a music festival that celebrates both men and women (but men more so and does not include people of other genders).
1. She’ll embarass you with her “at Lilith” stories.
You should never be subjected to actually listening to your female partner (or any woman for that matter). Also your girlfriend tells really bad stories about nothing.
Clearly AskMen.com is very progressive. They are beyond patriarchy, yet really want men to be in control. And there image of women makes ME sad to be one. We sound so boring according to them. So please, go to Lilith Fair (if you can afford it/have time off for it, which I don’t) and if your boyfriend tells you not to go please stop dating him.