questionablecharacters:

There is nothing I despise more than when so-called feminists call out other women for displaying themselves as “sex objects”. Because you know what? We’re all sex objects. We’ve all been placed on this earth to fuck and make babies. So yes, that girl is showing a lot of skin. And no, that doesn’t…

I think it is important to distinguish that what many seem to have a problem with is that some women (people, really) see themselves only as sex objects instead of also as sex subjects.

There is nothing wrong with sex or skin. But there is a huge difference between being an object and being a subject. One means that someone else desires you. That can be great, granted it is wanted (and even better when the sentiment is returned!) But this is not an action, it is something being done to you.

The other means that you frame sex as something you are doing for yourself. Not to appear “sexy” to others, but for you. You are doing the action; you are doing the desiring and the lusting. This is important.

(Source: jessbennett)

commententarybreakfast:

I just got back from Dayglow. Obviously a large part of the experience was sexual in a corporate sense, but what dismayed me was the incredibly sexist (and heteronormative too but that’s perhaps less horrifying) imagery that permeated it. Not only did the screens show images that were primarily…

never have i read anything more true in my life. some highlights:

“One sex therapist put it best when she said, “If most women don’t have orgasms during ‘sex,’ but do have orgasms, perhaps we need to redefine sex.” “

“I know there will usually be a moment when a male partner is ready for penetration and often, that is before I’m ready/ comfortable/ wet / aroused enough. If sex were not a personal expression of political power, these moments would be no more than awkward. It would be like leaning in for a hug first only to find that the other person was disinterested. The problem is that men in a patriarchy are socialized to “lean in” first– always. And those who are not conscious enough to interrogate this socialization begin to believe that leaning in is their right, their privilege. So awkward moments can become coercion, assault, or rape.  Or just horrible sex. “

“ A recent study found that there are only 29 people in America who sleep with women but don’t perform cunnilingus and only 11 of those expect to receive fellatio or cunnilingus but think cunnilingus should be reserved for “wifey.” Unfortunately, those 11 get around quite often. My girlfriends keep running into them. I believe that we should start a website to identify these people and block them from hookup or relationship radar.”

these are the things we need to be taught in sex ed. it seems silly but people need to learn what sex is and how to have it. a lot of times “sex” ends up being a lot more like masturbation, where one partner gets pleasure and then falls asleep without thinking of returning the favor (at least in some heterosexual relationships). its more like “sex to” than “sex with.” i think she’s right when she says we have to redefine sex, but how can we make that redefinition mainstream?