Posts tagged sexuality
Two twenty-something feminists fighting patriarchy one blogpost at a time
People are uncomfortable with sexuality that is not made for male consumption.
(Source: thegentlemanjigger, via thenewwomensmovement)
16 notes &
Stomp & Holler, Northampton MA. October 22, 2011.
Sign reads: You only call me a “slut” because you’re afraid of my sexuality
Sign reads: I holler & stomp because:
1 in 4 college women will experience actual or attempted sexual assault during their college careers
1 in 3 women will experience interpersonal violence in their lifetime
I have been told that I am not as good as a man
My friends and loved ones are survivors of sexual violence
I have been taught that my clothes speak louder than me
0 in all people deserve to be raped, victimized or silenced.
50 notes &
Stomp & Holler, Northampton MA. October 22, 2011
Sign reads: You only call me a “slut” because you’re afraid of my sexuality
20 notes &
The Pursuit of Pleasure: ~SEX OBJECTS~
There is nothing I despise more than when so-called feminists call out other women for displaying themselves as “sex objects”. Because you know what? We’re all sex objects. We’ve all been placed on this earth to fuck and make babies. So yes, that girl is showing a lot of skin. And no, that doesn’t…
I think it is important to distinguish that what many seem to have a problem with is that some women (people, really) see themselves only as sex objects instead of also as sex subjects.
There is nothing wrong with sex or skin. But there is a huge difference between being an object and being a subject. One means that someone else desires you. That can be great, granted it is wanted (and even better when the sentiment is returned!) But this is not an action, it is something being done to you.
The other means that you frame sex as something you are doing for yourself. Not to appear “sexy” to others, but for you. You are doing the action; you are doing the desiring and the lusting. This is important.
“Men-ups” by Clickandclash on Flickr.
Men who pose like this: goofy
Women who pose like this: sexy
WTF is wrong with us?
43 notes &
There are no direct expressive or causal lines between sex, gender, gender presentation, sexual practice, fantasy and sexuality. None of those terms captures or determines the rest.
Judith Butler, “Imitation and Gender Insubordination” (via tigersmilk)
Oh Judy! My heart flutters.
(via cooledskin)
(via cooledskin)
6 notes &
Relentless Commentariat: Why is it that despite decades of feminism we still as a culture approach sex as something a woman gives a man?
I just got back from Dayglow. Obviously a large part of the experience was sexual in a corporate sense, but what dismayed me was the incredibly sexist (and heteronormative too but that’s perhaps less horrifying) imagery that permeated it. Not only did the screens show images that were primarily…
41 notes &
One can only wonder what normative female heterosexuality would look like if it were presented to young women as one of many sexual outcomes, to be achieved not through passive assent to cultural norms, but through active and continuous interrogation of the social context and embodied experience of love and desire.
17 notes &
My mother had observed this drama throughout her formative years and at a young age arrived at a rather sophisticated conclusion: If you have a society in which female sexual morality means everything and male sexual morality means nothing, then you have a very warped and unethical society. She’d never attached such specific words to these feelings before, but when women began to speak up in the early 1970’s, she heard these ideas vocalized at last. Amidst all the other issues on the feminist agenda - equal employment opportunity, equal access to education, equal rights under the law, more parity between husbands and wives - what really spoke to my mother’s heart was this one question of societal sexual fairness.
…My mother loved her job. She was on the front lines of an actual health-care revolution, breaking all the rules by talking openly about human sexuality, trying to get a Planned Parenthood clinic launched in every county across the state, empowering young women to make their own choices about their bodies, debunking myths and rumours about pregnancy and venereal disease, fighting prudish laws, and - most of all - offering options to tired mothers (and to tired fathers, for that matter) that had never before been available.
We don’t allow men’s sexuality to dehumanize them in our eyes. If a young man spends his weekends partying and flirting with women, and spends his time in the classroom pulling down As, we don’t see that as a contradiction. The belief that female sexual expression is uniquely dehumanizing is a double standard, no matter how much you dress it up in feminist language. Instead of condemning young women for the length of their skirts, why not use that energy for condemning anyone who would think that a woman is lesser-than because she wears a miniskirt?
(Source: lipsredasroses, via petitefeministe-deactivated2013)
2 notes &
The "Crossed Legs" Movement: How a Sex Strike Got Things Done (via Alternet)
Women in Barbacoas in Colombia banned sex in order to get an adequate road paved to their town. The women figured that they wouldn’t have sex or children until they were able to get adequate food and healthcare for them (ambulances were known to get stuck getting to the town and food costs were very high because of their location).
When i first read the title of the article, i wasn’t sure how i felt about it as a feminist. i don’t want women to use their sexuality to get what they want because i feel like they are being reduced to beings used only for their sexuality. But the town had tried other ways to get the road paved and nothing worked. So they did what they needed to do and it worked.
In the US, i would be hesitant to try this because of the extremely mixed messages of women’s sexuality. i also doubt women would be willing and able to band together and do this. i have no clue how women’s sexuality is viewed in Colombia. i don’t know how this might impact other gender issues.
Anyway, i applaud these women for creatively working to get what they wanted and needed. Maybe sometimes, given the circumstances, using sexuality to get things done is a good idea.
32 notes &
concerning reclamation of the word “slut”:
i watched a great debate concerning SlutWalk last night between different feminists with different perspectives, and it got me thinking about reclaiming the world itself.
i don’t know if i am allowed to reclaim the word.
traditionally, slut is used against a woman who has sex with multiple partners. it is a way to bring her down and shame her for being a sexual human being.
now, reclaiming this word means that whomever calls themselves a slut is someone that owns their sexuality and is NOT ashamed of the number of partners they’ve had. they are comfortable with their sexual history, even though society might find it shameful.
i’m all for reclaiming words. i personally reclaim bitch, because, let’s be honest, anyone (female) who knows me well will call me a bitch (in the reclaimed, positive use of the word). i’m on the fence about cunt for myself, but i know if i WANTED to reclaim it, i could.
but slut- i’m not sure. see, i’ve been banging the same guy for well over 3 years now. i don’t have a long history of different sexual partners. so i cannot “be proud” of my sexual history, because society would already be proud of it. the entire concept of word reclamation is to turn a socially negative thing into a positive one- but my sexual history is already socially acceptable and positive.
so can i call myself a slut? methinks not. now, if i did have different sexual partners, sure, i would reclaim slut. but me, right now, with the same guy, for a very long time… i don’t think it is quite my place to reclaim this word and i think it takes away and possibly reduces the credibility of someone else reclaiming this word.
thoughts? am i onto something? or am i over-analyzing (which is something i never do! :P)
Hmm. I reclaim the word slut not only because I’m not ashamed of my sexual past and current sexual relations but because I, a woman, have also been called a slut for merely being a sexual being. Hell I’ve ben called a slut when I wasn’t even sexual active… I think it’s important to note that even though yes, slut was traditionally used to shame promiscious women, it’s now used to express that the combination of being a woman and being sexual is something that should be shamed, scrutinized, rejected and objectified.
It is used to oppress any woman for expressing ANY form of sexual freedom, not just for being promiscious (which is so, so subjective anyway). Women are called sluts for having big breasts, for daring to wear low-cut tops/whatever they want. Therefore I think you can reclaim the word if it’s been used against you in any context because it’s the fact that people are taking it upon themselves to judge and vilify YOU/something that is extremely personal, because you’re a woman.
i wish i could have listened to the debate between feminists. i don’t feel that i can reclaim the word “slut” (or “bitch”) because i still use those words against myself. i have a lot of internalized oppression. even though i know logically that my sexuality shouldn’t be shamed (i would never shame anyone else’s sexuality) i have been socialized to believe that sexuality is bad and still feel guilty when i express my sexuality. i feel like words can only reclaimed once we have come to terms with and feel empowered around their negative connotations. that’s something that i haven’t been able to do with a lot of words.
i also feel like a bad feminist for not being ok with reclaiming certain words. i liked everything that SlutWalk stands for, but i couldn’t quite get behind it becuase of those internalized oppressions. i still have a visceral reaction when i hear the word slut. so i’m trying to come to terms with the fact that reclaiming certain words doesn’t feel empowering to me and figuring out how i can feel empowered around my sexuality.
so, feedmemangoes, to answer your question: i think you should call yourself a slut if that is something that you feel comfortable with and something that feels empowering to you. i think it is more important to feel empowered than to reclaim words. but respect and support those who have reclaimed words. we all have different levels of comfort and different perspectives that lead words like ”slut” to feel reclaimable or not.
(Source: thiscuntsays, via sluteverxxx)
5 notes &
This is what we should teach kids about what sex is!
5 notes &
The smart Dutch take on teen sex
“The Dutch could teach American parents a thing or two about the birds and the bees — namely, the virtues of respect and acceptance of teenage sexuality. I just stumbled across a fascinating study (via Sociological Images) that compares these divergent cultural attitudes toward doing the nasty (which, by the way, is much less likely to be cast as “nasty” or “dirty” in the Netherlands). The report, “Sex, Love, and Autonomy in the Teenage Sleepover” by sociologist Amy Schalet, spills plenty of ink describing the forbidding and fearful American view of premarital teen sex that is all too familiar to most of us stateside. It’s her description of parental attitudes in the Netherlands that really surprises, though.”
Ditto, Red.
I took a class on fairytales last semester, and we read the original tale of Little Red Riding Hood (called The Grandmother’s Tale, if I remember correctly).
Anyway, first of all, I had never really made the connection that the story was about female sexuality (the wolf preying on the girl, her getting into bed with him and being punished for it, red symbolizing first menstruation and the whole story being about a girl hitting puberty and experiencing and experimenting with her sexuality, etc.)
Second of all, there is no woodsman or father that rescues Little Red. He was added by the Grimms to give it a patriarchal figure to save the girl from her own sexuality (Thanks guys! Perrault just let her die! I guess he thought her death would have been powerful as a cautionary tale against…being a woman and having sex!)
In the Grandmother’s Tale, instead of dying or being saved, Red outsmarts the wolf and runs away. Putting her in control.
Obviously my favorite version (even though, it also creeps me out, particularly when she eats her grandmother…but, nothing is perfect! Especially not fairy tales.)
(KMonster)
